Motherhood

I once heard someone say that there are millions of children and mothers, each unique in their own way, yet the perfect match for each other.  This may not always seem so, but yet there is great divinity in these pairings.  The dynamics and interactions of each relationship is so unique and different and yet we have stereotyped these roles.  What stands out for me is that the word “Mother” is so revered.  It is bestowed as a title to great souls, to the Divine femininity, and to so many who have taken on the responsibility of raising children.

Mother Teresa is the epitome of what it is to be a mother, yet she herself had no children.  All were her children.  For me the word mother refers to the divine nurturing that we all possess.  The love and care that we display.  I see it in children taking care of pets.  It is an abiding presence that resides within us to be involved, to guide, to teach, to raise, to comfort, to experience the growth and development of a new being.  This is inherent in all beings.  Why Mother Teresa is a shining example, is that she did this with grace, with complete involvement, yet no attachment.  There was great love to feed the hungry to heal the sick, to be a comfort to those in need.   She was love personified.

I myself have three children.  Each so unique and different to each other.  They are now older and no longer need me in the way that they did as young children.  I was so far from being the “perfect” mother.  There is no book that can teach you or prepare you for this role.  I did try with my whole being to be “perfect”.  The constant criticism, guilt and not quite knowing how you were doing left me feeling very pained.  As I grew in my seeking to be, I realised that there is no need to be perfect.  That each of my children have their own inner guidance that carries them in their experience of life. With that understanding came a huge sense of relief.  I did not need to know it all. There was a huge transformation in myself from parenting from fear to having faith.  My experience was somewhat different though.  My son, who is 19 now, is Aspergers.  He has been my blessing in showing me that if I go to my place of quiet and stop the chatter in my mind, that there is an inner knowing that is greater than my own intellect, an inner presence that is guiding all of us on our path of least resistance.  He has shown me through his interactions that he is so true to who he is, and in so being there is a natural ease and flow in his experience of life.

What I have learnt is that I am always a better mom when I am kind to me.  So when my kids think that I am the complaints commissioner, I turn on my invisible sound blocking earphones, sip on my tea, and focus entirely on the latest K drama (Korean Series)  that I am watching. And magically all their “drama” dissipates.  

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful nurturers that the world so needs.

Love

Fawz